Forgiveness: Obstacle or Opportunity?
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Follow God’s example, therefore as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 4:32-5:1-2
Even after two years after closing my restaurant amidst of the outbreak of Covid 19 and then moving to Florida, I have had to revisit forgiveness. First, I have needed to learn to forgive myself. “Hindsight is 20/20” but as I consider the decisions, I made to invest my monies into a still unproven Arizona restaurant concept in a less business friendly Washington state, with people I should have not trusted to begin with, it is myself I need to forgive first. Then in the five years, though there were some amazing employees and customers in the venture in Bellingham, the wounds of theft, slander and disrespect can still sting. Again, I need to forgive myself, in at time “turning a blind eye” and leaving things at times unresolved.
At my current job, there is an individual whom I work with who has unfairly slandered me to others. I am given the “opportunity” to forgive this person daily. Whoopee! When wrongs are received, they cry out for some type of payback or compensation. So how does that work? It may feel good at first, but, in so doing, we become like or even worse than the one who has wounded us in the first place. It becomes an endless cycle of escalation of wounding and being wounded. How about just allowing time to diminish the pain? That doesn’t work. As someone has cynically said, “Time wounds all heals.” Forgiveness must be faced head on.
I believe that we will either see forgiveness as an OBSTACLE that we will stumble over or we will accept it as an OPPORTUNITY to step into to become more Christ-like. Forgiveness is a lifetime lesson for me to keep learning and don’t deceive yourself. It will be for you too! What is the key to practice forgiveness then when this, um, “opportunity,” presents itself to us?
The dictionary definition of “follow” is “to go or come after (a person proceeding ahead) to move or travel behind.” Jesus walked ahead of us and did the “excruciatingly” (notice the Latin word for “crucify” within that word!) hard work on the cross. He, the Righteous One, forgave the unrighteous ones (us!) when He went to the cross to pay fully for our sins that put Him there. It is truly to follow Him, when we forgive the unworthy as He has commanded us to do and prove our genuineness as His beloved children. Amen!
Jamie Bohnett
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