Completing A Godly Mother’s Legacy

“All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised. For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection (their legacy would not be completed) without us. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses (who are actively watching and cheering us on) to this life of faith…let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” (Hebrews 11:39-40, 12:1 parenthetic statements added)

My mother, Nada Violet Nickoloff Bohnett, passed away on February 2nd 1992, at a youthful 69 years old. She was gone before she could witness her grandchildren grow up, marry and have children of their own. For the past quarter of a century of her life she possessed a growing vibrant faith in Jesus Christ. She was an extremely giving, kind and loving person and great mother to her four children and grandmother (“tutu” in Hawaiian) to eleven grandchildren. As I am writing this at this very moment, “How Great Thou Art,” Mom’s favorite Christian hymn, is being played on my Pandora station. That is a “mom wink!” Message received Mom!

Yet when a person like this who had such an impact upon our lives is gone so quickly, there are so many questions we have. A couple I have are, “Why, Lord did you have to take her so soon from all of us?” My three younger children were too young to ever know her. They didn’t grow up with that special love that only my mom could have given them. My oldest daughter, Heidi, lost her shortly after we moved away from Hawaii, and as a young teen it was devastating to her. When her cancer had returned she and Dad visited us for the last time, I did not give her the compassion she needed from me, her only son. She was in a life and death fight against breast cancer but I was distracted with my own concerns.

How I wish I could have that time back with my mother and express to her how much I treasured her lifetime of sacrificial love, example of faith and her prayers for my life and my family. But I cannot. By the time I saw her again back in Hawaii she had already slipped into a coma.

Yet the story is not over.

There is something that has happened in my relationship to her since that day she passed so many years ago. She is very much alive in heaven, and I talk to her often and she does to me in her own way. Remember that “mom wink?” I have learned that, though I missed many opportunities to show love and honor to her when she was still here, I can still do that from down here. It is not too late! 

I can be an answer to her prayers and help complete her legacy of faith she faithfully passed on to me. The Apostle Paul reminded Timothy, “…you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. That is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you…” Like Timothy, I need to remember the baton was faithfully handed onto me and now run my own race for Him!

Mom loved her family. She loved her parents, her two brothers, her husband, her four children, and her eleven grandchildren. Though she had a heart for many people, for her, “charity began at home.” So, I would guess that most of my mother’s hopes, dreams and prayers focused upon her family knowing Jesus Christ as she did. Just a few short years ago Colleen and I attended a Nickoloff family reunion in Los Angeles. There I reconnected with cousins from mom’s two brothers, my Uncles Jim and Tom. One of the greatest joys of my life came when I found out that my cousin Tom, Uncle Jim’s son, whom I was very close with as a boy but had lost touch with since, had begun to seek to follow Christ. We then began growing in our mutual faith through weekly calls together and are still at it!

I also reconnected with Kevin, Uncle Tom’s son whom I knew was a strong Christian. He put me in touch with his older brother, Tim, after the reunion. Tim was open to my outreach and to following Christ at that time. I was never close to Tim as I had been with Tom because of our “huge age difference” of four years! But since we have connected, we have become good friends and now as brothers in Christ we are also growing together in weekly calls. Also, my Aunt Ginny, Uncle Jim’s 98-year-old widow, was baptized with my cousin Tom last fall. I have sensed Mom’s joy as I have been able to help “complete” which she prayed to see happen in her family of origin many years ago.

Then in her own family, that includes my three sisters and me, a true miracle has occurred this year! My youngest sister has come out of 41-year marriage of abuse into safety and freedom. She has emerged out of the darkness and came into the light. She will tell her God-glorifying story, “From Prison to Paradise,” in due time. But through this all, when we were as a family, fervently praying for the freedom of our youngest sister from this horrible situation, along with God’s presence, we felt Mom with us as well! During this ordeal, I believe our “mama bear” Mom, joined with our prayers in heaven to our Lord. She was pleading with Him for the release of her youngest cub from the clutches of the enemy. When it finally happened, ALL of us in our family (even those who don’t currently consider themselves Christians) recognized the “cameo appearance” of our mother in this family miracle!

So, for me today, on this Mother’s Day, honoring my mother is not just a “sentimental thing” of the past but it is about a “strengthening thing” of my present and the future.

Mom, you ran your race well. You handed a baton of faithfulness off to me. I promise to run my race the very best I can and hand off the baton to your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. And Mom, as I run my race, I will help you complete yours as well! That will be my honor and privilege. See you soon! With Love Always, Jamie